


Sexy Gay Ghosts in Your Area

by ChompMom



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell, Asgore is not an egomaniacal dictator, DMAB Reader, F/F, F/M, Gender-Neutral Frisk, I'm sure I'm forgetting something, It'll make sense eventually, M/M, Multi, Paranormal Investigators, Reader Is Not Frisk, Reader-Insert, Undertale Monsters on the Surface, but they have a personality, crybaby reader, eventual smut probably, he's just edgy, how do you tag, pretty much everybody has a potty mouth, reader has a family, reader is a mage...kinda, reader uses gender neutral pronouns, relationship drama, the gender binary does not live here, this is Underfell, this is a very gay story, this is my first reader fic pls bear with me, to be fair they're all edgy, tol monsters, uhh that's enough for now, we'll see
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-05-01 19:12:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14527266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChompMom/pseuds/ChompMom
Summary: You're a timid young adult in a family of Paranormal Investigators with a penchant for attracting mysteries.  Mysteries that you want nothing to do with. Unfortunately for you it seems the crazy train is not stopping anytime soon as a bunch of edgy monsters stream up into the surface world for the first time in centuries...and insert themselves right into your life.  Chaos and hijinks ensue, as well as perhaps a bit of romance...?





	1. I'm Grateful, But...

Once again you found yourself in a rather unfavorable situation: standing in the middle of a poorly lit, run-down room, surrounded by night-vision and infrared cameras.  Alone. Afraid. You could sense the rest of your family a couple rooms over. Unlike you, they all buzzed with excited energy. You wish you had that ignorant luxury. To be unafraid in this situation.  Unfortunately for you, you were what people in the business called “sensitive”. This meant while most people would go to a supposed haunted old building and feel giddy and afraid due to their own imagination, you would be scared shitless because of the terrible feelings and memories that swirled around places where tragedies took place.  You didn’t want this gift. You were born with it. Perhaps cursed with it. Persecuted for it. Hated for it. Until, of course, you met your family. Your real family that is, not the people you have a genetic connection with. You know jack shit about them except the fact that they're major assholes who left their 3 month old baby in a park. A park! They couldn't even be bothered to take you to a hospital or fire station like any other reasonable human. 

 

Whatever. You weren't bitter about it. Obviously. Not a bitter bone in your body. You suppressed a sarcastic laugh at that thought. Remember, you're on camera! You awkwardly cleared your throat and began the process your moms had coached you on. Summoning your most dramatic and serious voice, you recite your lines: “Are there any beings who would like to make their presence known? Any messages to send, any tips to give?” You falter awkwardly, “uh feel free to uhh pop in?” Pop in! Pop in!? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING RIGHT NOW. You mentally kick yourself for your incurable stage fright. 

 

As you continue silently berating yourself, you feel a slight chill climbing up your legs.  It twists in thin tendrils, smoothly encompassing your entire being until you’re still. Thoughts and feelings that are most certainly not your own press in on your mind.  Nope. Time to leave. Head down and limbs stiff, you march out of the dark room and down the hallway. Your only thought is getting outside, all the way outside. You need that fresh air NOW.  

  
  
  


“Siiiiiiib!”  The voice of your energetic older sister, Jessie, follows you out into the fading  light of the sunset. “Sib why’d you run out on us? I thought you were ready for this place?”  

 

You were too busy focusing on NOT having another panic attack to pay her much mind.  You squat down and duck your head in between your knees, breathing deeply. The last vestiges of foreign feelings are still clinging to the edges of your subconscious, preventing you from properly calming down.  A light touch on your shoulder causes you to lurch to the side with a heaving gasp, only to be caught by soft, strong arms. Unbidden, you feel tears come to your eyes and you whimper pathetically, “m-mama…” Your great big bear of a mother, Maelyn, scoops you up into her arms as if you were a tiny plush toy, not a fully grown adult person with like, insurance and everything.  

She strokes your hair soothingly, sending a soft glare at Jess, who is pouting in your direction.  Soon enough the other two members of your little family emerge from the darkened doorway of the old mental institution.  Your other mom, Barb, and younger sister, Kimmie, join in the pouting session. 

 

Barb huffs out a gusty sigh and bends down to yank up the long socks that have begun to fall down her muscular legs into the muddy hiking boots that never seem to leave her feet.  “Honey, I thought you said you were ready. We don’t want to push you too much, that’s why we let you decide when we’d resume filming.” It was obvious that your louder, more brash mom was having trouble keeping a level head at this new delay in filming.  This was all your fault. Again. Causing nothing but trouble. 

 

“Mom, mama, I’m sorry.  I-I thought I could do it.  I’m sorry I’m sorry,” you bury your face into Maelyn’s shoulder and attempt to clamp down on your semi-hysterical apologies.  She continuously rubs soothing circles into your back and you can tell by the way Barb and your sisters fall silent that she’s giving them the “back-off face”.  

 

The slightly calmer voice of Kimmie joins in, trying to reassure you, “sib, we’re not upset at you.  We just want you to be okay, alright? Jess and I can take over narration again if it’s getting to be too much.”  Oh how you want to grasp this out she’s giving you. You’d do just about anything to stay away from all the freaky bullshit that seems to follow you like a sickly stormcloud.  Just about anything...anything except disappointing your sisters or mothers. You can’t. After everything they’ve done for you: they saved you from your life of being shunted from one unwilling foster family to the next.  They gave you a home, gave you love, gave you everything you could have wanted from a family and more. Yet still, you can’t even do this one thing for them. 

 

It had always been a passion of Barb and Maelyn’s, to throw themselves wholeheartedly into paranormal research.  They’d actually met in college and fell in love over their shared obsession with ghost and cryptid hunting. Anything that was labeled by the general public as “abnormal” was right up their alley.  Their hard work and determination eventually culminated in a moderately successful internet series that focused on going places and actually “experiencing the paranormal”. While not exactly household names, they’d still managed to accumulate a rather loyal cult following which afforded them a modest home and enough money to start the family they’d always wanted.  The sisters, Kimmie and Jessie were adopted when they were 11 and 14, respectively. The four women had a wonderful chemistry that added a certain charm to their paranormal investigations that other similar shows seemed to lack. 

 

You came into the picture a bit later.  Every single foster family you ended up with would have seemingly unexplained things happen to them.  Little things like glasses going missing, windows becoming filthy for no discernible reason, toilets overflowing without cause.  Inevitably, being the new factor in each equation, you were pinned as the culprit and sent back to the orphanage. Again and again this happened, each successive family on the receiving end of more and more horrible happenings.  Pets becoming anxious messes, electronics going haywire, creepy messages scrawled in books; it never seemed to end. You went from being known as that “quiet, troubled kid” to that “devil child”. 

 

Nobody wanted you.  All you wanted was safety, stability.  You wanted, no, CRAVED to be normal. No matter how much you wished and hoped and prayed, things just kept getting worse.  Eventually you’d lost all hope of ever getting adopted into a family that could “handle” you, deciding to just tough it out until you were old enough to get a job and support yourself.  Trying to hold onto hope was becoming too painful for you. It was much easier to just give in. 

 

As Barb and Maelyn had already adopted two children and were considering a third, they were still in the loop about local teens needing homes.  They were surprised to hear of a young teen being bounced around due to unexplained events taking place in their vicinity. Of course, they were both horrified at the treatment you’d been receiving, and excited to see exactly what sort of strange happenings would occur if they were to meet you.  

 

At the first meeting both of them went full-on mom-mode on you and you’ve been with them ever since.  The paperwork actually didn’t take too long, as everybody involved was more than happy to be rid of you.  Of course, from your perspective, it seemed as though they were only interested in making bank off of your connection to the unnatural and unexplained.  Luckily, they proved time and time again that they simply loved you as you were and wanted you to be happy. Instead of being frightened off by the entire cabinet of ceramic mugs and plates being shattered in the night, they were ecstatic and spent hours excitedly discussing possibilities of poltergeists living in their home.  

 

They never pressured you into helping out with their show, and it wasn’t until your 21st birthday you finally mustered up the courage to actively participate in your family’s livelihood.  You started out helping Maelyn with the equipment and occasionally your presence was used to stir up supposed local “spirits”. Unfortunately, it seemed the paranormal actually had a personal vendetta against you having a normal life and therefore only were active when you were putting your own self out on the front lines.  Finding yourself unable to begrudge your family their extreme giddiness at the reactions you brought out on camera, you pushed yourself to conquer your fears. Three years after you first started helping, here you are. Crying into your mama’s shoulder like a child a third of your age. 

 

They may not actually pressure you into helping out with the show, but when you promise to do something and then can’t complete your promise, you can tell both Jess and Barb get a little irate with you.  You can’t blame them, the amount of time they’ve wasted over the years babying you and catering to your anxieties must have been a huge drain on their patience. They’re both the type of people who can’t sit still for more than ten minutes without getting fidgety.  

 

Finally, Maelyn steps in with her quiet but authoritative voice, “We can put a pause on the filming for this episode.  We were planning on hiking Mt. Ebott tomorrow anyway, there’s no need to rush this.” With those words you felt the relief wash over you, taking the decision from your hands and giving you a reprieve.  The mountain was very beautiful this time of year, not to mention practically untouched by humans. Apparently locals avoided the place like the plague. Something about local legends speaking of disappearing children and horrifying monstrosities lurking in caves.  Your family had moved here about a month ago, mostly to be near the legendary mountain. It definitely gave off a powerful feeling, something much stronger than you’d ever sensed, but it seemed completely neutral. There were no apparent intentions that you could feel emanating from it, giving you a slightly less terrified view of it.  

 

Satisfied that you were completely calmed down, Maelyn set you back on your feet and headed back inside to start packing up her equipment.  Normally you’d help out breaking down camera set-ups and the like but right now nothing could get you to go back into that godsforsaken building.  Jess and Barb turned to join her while Kimmie stayed outside with you. One long, willowy arm raised up to push her round glasses up her nose. She really needed to get those adjusted.  “Sib you need to stop pushing yourself so much. I know you want to help out but…” she heaves a sigh. You don’t wait for her to finish her thought, you turn from her and shuffle back to where your family’s van is parked.  It’s badly painted to look like the Mystery Machine, because of COURSE it is. You shake your head, trying to shake off your doubts. Tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a better day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll get your Snas in the next chapter...whenever I get around to writing it anyway.


	2. Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things happen.

Bright and early the next day you, your sisters, and your moms all packed up your hiking gear and piled into the mystery machine wannabe. It was about a three hour drive to the base of Mt. Ebott’s hiking trail from your home so you’d all decided to get an early start. The morning people (Kimmie and Barb) were chatting excitedly about the day’s planned activities while the non-morning people (you, Maelyn, and Jess) nursed huge thermoses of coffee with the webshow’s icon displayed proudly (they sold decently well in the merch shop). 

Being a not particularly active person, hiking wasn’t exactly your favorite activity but it certainly beat standing around experiencing like five of your main anxieties at once. Things that occasionally caused you to barf: being on camera. Things that had never caused you to barf: going on a hike. That wasn’t exactly the greatest metric for measuring your favorite activities but it was the only one that occured to you at four in the morning. Maybe you should have grabbed an extra thermos of coffee. 

Approximately fifteen minutes into the drive, you and Jess were both slumped over into each other, falling in and out of sleep. Jess sleepily mumbled into your shoulder, “somebody wake me up when we get there.” Kimmie playfully reached back from the front seat and ruffled Jess’ hair, causing her to grumble and hide her face between your shoulder and the back of the car seat. 

“Grumpy sis~” Kimmie cooed mockingly. “You're so cute when you're grumpy.” A quick but gentle swat from Maelyn’s hand and Kimmie finally stopped tormenting her older sister. “Mama you're no fun!”

Maelyn grinned and held up her phone, which showed a picture of a robot with a “no fun allowed” sign. Somehow she always had some stupid picture ready for situations like these and you suspect she has a dedicated folder for them. You felt yourself rolling your eyes and murmuring, “mama it's too early for you to be memeing. Take a nap like a normal person.”

Barb interjected from the driver's seat: “Normal people wake up in the morning and get shit done, not sleep in all day like you'd do if I let you two.” She was referring to you and Maelyn, as while Jess would hop out of bed promptly at ten in the morning and wouldn't stop until she crashed at ten at night, you and Maelyn were more than capable of sleeping all day if you were allowed. You weren't sure if Kimmie ever actually slept. She always seemed to be reading a book or on her phone or fiddling with some sort of gadget. Any attempt to either stay up later than her or wake up earlier were always met with failure. Barb was an “up at six and in bed by nine” type of person. At least everybody's different waking and sleeping schedules prevented waiting for the bathroom every morning. 

As the van finally pulled in to the gravel parking lot, you immediately noticed the chain link fence adorned with warning signs and notices. You could feel your heart drop into your stomach. You cleared your throat awkwardly and directed your concerns at Barb, “Hey I thought you said that we were allowed up here. This looks like some private property to me.”

“Oh ye of little faith!” Kimmie crowed, startling Jess awake. “Of course I went through public records to make sure this was all allowed, just who do you think I am?” The pride and smugness was practically radiating off of her. There was a reason she was put in charge of the legal side of the business: she knew her stuff. 

“Anyway this land is all technically considered a public park but because of all the mysterious events that have taken place around here they've put up a bunch of signs and disclaimers to try and deter people from wandering. However!” Kimmie dramatically pushed her glasses up and continued, “There are no legal ramifications for actually entering the land. Technically it's even set aside as a campground, although there are no records of it being used as such.”

You continue to eye her, still feeling a bit unsettled by the sheer number of big, bold signs saying things like “THE CITY OF EBOTT IS NOT LEGALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INJURIES OR LOSSES OF PERSONAL PROPERTY THAT OCCUR BEYOND THIS POINT. ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK.”

“Okay, so it may be legal but it certainly doesn't seem safe…” You hate to be a stick in the mud about these sorts of things but you're a worrier! That's just what you do! And as usual everybody is oblivious to the danger that you sense as they all pile out of the van excitedly. Jess already has her fancy, high-res camera out, ready to take artistic pictures of leaves and chipmunks and junk. Barb is doing some stretches as if she's about to run a marathon while Maelyn is hefting an absolutely ENORMOUS backpack onto her shoulders. You have no doubt that it's filled with first aid kits and snacks and survival essentials. Forever an overprotective (and over prepared) mom.

After locking the van up and hopping the fence (reluctantly in your case) your mostly merry band is on its way. You can still feel the powerful hum of neutral energy and now that you're at the foot of the mountain, you can tell for certain it emanates from somewhere by the largest peak. That's your goal today. You're supposed to lead your family to this power so they can study its source if possible. 

Five hours, two snack breaks, and one deer sighting later and you've nearly reached the end of the trail. According to Barb’s scouting and Kimmie’s maps you'll soon have to go off trail if you want to continue towards the peak. You're understandably reluctant to do so. “You guys know this is probably how all those people disappeared, right? They went off trail and just....” Your voice wobbled and refused finish that thought.

Jess walked by, patted you heartily on the back, and said, “Don’t worry Sib, I’d wrestle a bear for you.” She had a bit of a manic gleam in her eye. This did not make you feel better in the slightest. 

“Jess please tell me you won’t ever wrestle a wild animal.” You had been under the impression she left her dream of suplexing large predators in childhood, where it belonged. Apparently not. 

“No promises!” 

__________________

So far, so good. Although the path you were trekking was severely overgrown and uneven, the five of you were finally nearing your destination. You could feel the energy, practically within arms reach. 

Just when you turned your head to address your family and let them know you'd found it, there was a horrifying noise. It was the sound of crackling thunder, the sound of a chopped tree about to fall, the sound of a thousand shards of glass developing spiderweb cracks. 

And suddenly you knew. Between the cracks of something beyond your understanding, in between the shattered bits of neutral energy: you felt it. Thousands of years despair and depression and nihilism and hate and the saddest, most broken form of hope you could possibly imagine left festering behind a solid lid. The lid was off now and you felt yourself failing…

 

________________

Fuzzy darkness pressed in on your eyes, reminiscent of the feeling you get when rubbing your eyes too roughly. While you couldn’t quite muster the will to open your eyes yet, you could still hear the muffled sound of voices surrounding you. It took every bit of concentration your muddled brain could conjure but eventually you could make out a familiar voice: Kimmie’s. 

“Look, I know you’re curious but seriously don’t crowd them it’ll just make them have another panic attack. They’ll be fine...I think.” That was Kimmie. Was she talking about you? She sounded awfully worried. 

An extremely deep voice practically vibrated through your body, “My Royal Scientist has some experience in human medicine, perhaps she could have a look?” 

“I s-suppose I could, if that’s alright?” This was an extremely nasally tone that absolutely exuded anxiety. You could feel whatever your head was laying on shift, probably Maelyn’s lap from the familiar softness, and another person kneel down next to you. A strangely rough hand felt for what you assumed was the pulse in your neck when they exclaimed,“Oh! They’re awake! Uh help them s-sit up please.” 

Reluctantly, you allowed two pairs of hands, one soft and familiar, and another rough with extremely long, sharp nails(??) to sit you up slightly. With a deep breath you opened your eyes. Kneeling by your side, helping you stay steady by keeping their CLAWED hand on you shoulder, was a short, yellow, scaled...person? Dinosaur? Lizard??? You couldn’t help but stare. This is not how you imagined lizard people would look. Had the end finally come? What was it lizard people wanted from humans again??

The being next to you seemed to roll their eyes and adjust their glasses, just as an extremely loud guffaw jolted you out of your staring. Oops. Had you said that out loud? 

“This human’s fuckin’ hilarious holy shit,” a new, deep voice managed to say between attempts to control their laughter. Swiveling your head to your front you saw...a huge goat person?! And next to the goat person was the one who was still laughing at your expense. A motherfucking skeleton. With huge shark teeth and blood red lights in dark eye sockets. Okay. Nope. You’re out. And with the sounds of laughter still ringing in your ears, you proceeded to pass the fuck back out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took a bit longer than I meant it to. I go through huge cycles of art block, which also extends to writing so this will probably continue to have sporadic updates. Sorry lmao.


	3. Do You Mind!?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally get to meet some peeps. Sorry if this is garbage, I can already feel my quality slipping hahaha. Let me know if there are any spelling or grammar errors (or plot holes or any other mistakes really. I'm a mess.)

When you next wake, you fully expect your most recent memories to be proven a strange dream. Once again, however, luck is not on your side. The small nest of blankets surrounding you and the backpack you're using as a pillow confirms that Maelyn had tended to you while you were unconscious. It was surprisingly comfortable, considering you were essentially passed out on the forest floor mere seconds ago. 

A cursory glance at your surroundings confirms that nobody is right near you at the moment. You and your nest have been propped up next to a tree and mostly shielded from view. Maelyn probably figured it'd make you feel more secure to wake up hidden and alone like this. Bless that woman. 

Hesitantly, you decide to call out: “Mama?” Immediately there’s harsh rustling in the bushes to your left. With a terrified squeak, you lurch away from the sudden noise. Hopefully you weren’t about to have your face mauled by a squirrel or something. 

Thankfully, it was Jess’ face that appeared from the undergrowth. She had that manic, excited look in her eyes again, the one she gets when thinking about fighting people (and animals) much stronger than her. A wide grin stretches across her face as she all but squeals, “Sib! You’re up!! Oh my god you are not gonna believe this holy shit this is so exciting, come on come on, get up already!” With that she jumps to her feet and hoists you up along with her. 

“Sib, you have GOT to meet everybody. I know they startled you last time but it’s totally cool they said you passing out probably had to do with the burst of magic the barrier released when it broke. Oh! You don’t even know about that! Okay so the barrier is that thing that you sensed with all the energy and all these monsters were trapped behind it and oh my god it’s so cool-”

Your mind whirling, you started to zone out, well on your way to complete dissociation. Jess, absorbed in her gushing, failed to notice your inattention and continued to drag you along by the wrist spouting nonsense you couldn’t comprehend. After a few moments, the two of you arrived in a small clearing, illuminated by the orange light of the sun that was nearing the horizon. How long had you been out cold?!

Another yank on your wrist pulled you from the recesses of your mind and your vision snapped back to attention. Oh god. It wasn’t a dream. 

Gathered around the clearing, apparently having a grand old chat, were your family as well as a BUNCH of strange and colorful looking creatures. You recognised a handful from your not-dream: the yellow lizard and the big, bearded goat dude. Much to your surprise, there was also an unfamiliar human child standing next to said goat dude. They had a cute, brown bob and a red and black sweater that looked a little worse for wear. Flanking the kid on the other side was a rather intimidating goat lady, complete with horns and impressive fangs. On the other hand, maybe she wasn’t a goat, considering goats don’t usually have fangs. Or stand on two feet. Okay your thoughts are getting away from you again. 

Next to the bespeckled, yellow lizard was an incredibly tall, intimidating, fiery red-headed, blue fish lady? At least the gills on her neck made her look like a fish lady. She also had intimidating fangs, one almond-shaped yellow eye, and one eye-patched eye. Kimmie seemed to be deep in conversation with those two. With an energetic wave from Jess, Kimmie seemed to notice the two of you as her gaze snapped up and she smiled at you. Oh god the lizard and fish were both looking at you too now. 

Kimmie eagerly beckoned you over and Jess obliged, while you were dragged along for the ride. Kimmie immediately started the introductions: “Okay okay, sib, this is Undyne,” she motioned to the fish lady, who grinned a terrifying sharp-toothed grin, “aaand this is Alphys!” With that she motioned to the yellow lizard who was watching you with a strange expression on their face. “They both identify as girls by the way, and use she/her pronouns! Okay so now sib, introduce yourself!” 

You timidly waved to the two...monsters? Jess did say they were called monsters, right? Regardless, you gave them your name and hesitantly offered your hand, unsure if a handshake was appropriate here. Pretty quickly your indecision was squashed...as well as your hand. Undyne had practically enveloped your hand in her significantly larger one, squeezed it to the point of pain, and vigorously shook your hand so hard you thought she might dislocate your shoulder. “HELLO NERD! Holy shit your hand is tiny FUHUHUHU!” 

Luckily for you, Alphys took this moment to cut in with her slightly nasally voice, “Undyne, babe, I think you’re crushing their hand.” Undyne looked quickly between Alphys, your clasped hands, at your pained grimace, and back at your hands before she finally relented on her deadly handshake. It might have been comical if you weren’t currently in excruciating pain. 

“Oh shit! Uh, sorry nerd…” Undyne looked extremely sheepish now, something that took her intimidation value from eleven out of ten down to a manageable four or five. With an exasperated but fond sigh, Alphys reached into the pocket of her lab coat and retrieved what looked like a pack of dried ramen noodles. She quickly passed them over to you. You took them with your currently pain-free hand and looked at her in confusion. 

“Just eat s-some, you’ll see,” Alphys responded to your look with smug confidence. Tentatively, you tore open the pack and broke off a bit of crunchy noodles to munch on. Normally you’d put some of the flavor packet on before eating it but you hardly liked eating in front of strangers in normal circumstances, let alone whatever this was. As you went to swallow your mouthful of sweet sweet fried carbs, you were startled as the noodles dissolved on your tongue. Instantaneously, you felt the pain in your hand subside, and then vanish altogether. Stunned, you stood there with your mouth hanging open, flexing your fingers. At this point Alphys nodded to herself and said, “I started carrying more of those around with me for Frisk. They always seem to be damaging themselves somehow, so it pays to be extra prepared!”

You turned your amazed gaze from your hand to Alphys. “What.” Alphys opened her mouth to respond to you, as Jess cut in with a shout.

“UNDYNE LET ME ARM WRESTLE YOU!!”

Kimmie looked appalled. “Uh. Jess, you just watched her break sib’s hand with a simple handshake, and you want to ARM WRESTLE?!” 

“DUH!”

“FUHUHUHU HELL YEAH I’LL ARM WRESTLE YOU, YOU’RE GOING DOWN, PUNK!” 

Undyne and Jess both looked fully prepared to engage in what was sure to be a battle for the ages when a very VERY deep voice cut in: “Captain Undyne, just what are you doing?” 

Like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar, Undyne looked completely guilty and raised her shoulders somewhat. You were horrified to discover that the huge behemoth of a goat man had somehow walked up right behind you and didn’t even make a peep until this moment! He looked like he could cause earthquakes with his feet and yet he apparently had the stealth of a cat. 

The goat continued, “As glad as I am to see you making friends with the humans, I would appreciate if you kept the injuries to a minimum.” Undyne nodded sheepishly and grinned up at the goat with a winning smile, which he eventually returned with a slightly amused smirk. He then turned to you, causing you to jump slightly. He inclined his impressive horns to you in a slight bow and addressed you, “I apologize for my Royal Guard Captain here, she can sometimes be...overzealous. Regardless, I am glad to see you are up on your feet again.” He chuckled heartily, “You gave us all quite the scare when you passed out before.” 

As he spoke, the other goat person and the small human child walked up beside him, trailed by Maelyn and Barb who had apparently been conversing with them. Maelyn gave you the motherly once over, checking for injuries, before cutting her eyes at Undyne. Barb, however, simply smiled. It was obvious from her beaming smile that she was ecstatic to be surrounded by magical beings. 

From there you were introduced to the goats, who were apparently the King of Monsters, Asgore Dreemurr, and the former Queen of Monsters, Toriel Dreemurr. The human child was introduced as Frisk, and was named as the monsterkind human ambassador, as well as Toriel’s adopted child. After a bit of watching the adults talk, Frisk tugged lightly on your shirt, indicating they wanted to talk to you off to the side. You obliged readily, anything to escape social purgatory. 

When you were a couple feet away, within eyesight but just out of earshot, Frisk turned to you with a surprisingly piercing gaze. They couldn’t be any more than ten or eleven years old but the stare they fixed you with was one of somebody who had lived many lifetimes more than you. You felt a shudder roll down your spine as you registered the feeling. After a few intense seconds of fierce appraisal, their features finally softened and they gave you a winning smile. The quick change nearly threw you off completely but the kid just had an energy about them that screamed compassion and forgiveness. Whatever that little staring contest was must have confirmed something for them, as now all traces of that seriousness were gone. 

Taking a hold of your hand gently, they tugged you slightly. “I want you to meet somebody, is that okay?” How could you say no to such a cute kid? Besides, now whatever weirdness that started this interaction was over now. There was nothing but positive vibes exuding from the child. You nodded and let yourself be led away. 

Just on the outskirts of the clearing, Frisk stopped and cleared their throat. “Sans.”

“Heh.”

And with that, any sort of comfort you’d gained in the presence of the preteen was gone, replaced by a chilling certainty that something bad was about to happen. You slowly turned your head to catch sight of the same shark-toothed skeleton that had caused you to pass out last time. Although his impressive teeth were spread in a wide smile, it looked anything but friendly. One eye socket was completely dark, causing that small ball of anxiety in your core to spread. The other socket had one floating, red light that was pinning you in place with its intensity. You thought the kid’s stare was heavy; it was nothing compared to this. 

Frisk chose that moment to intervene, “Sans, stop it for a second. I just want you to check real quick.” You had no idea what that meant but you didn’t like it. You didn’t like the way this skeleton was looking at you one little bit. He moved from where he was slumped against a nearby tree and angled his body towards you. One skeletal hand emerged from his pocket and he swiped it through the air in a decisive movement. The feeling of being appraised from earlier was slammed into you tenfold. It was like that red glowing light could see right through you. 

As suddenly as it had started, it stopped. The skeleton, Sans, as Frisk had called him, had relaxed back against the tree trunk, his eye sockets shuttered. He nodded curtly to Frisk, answering some question you weren’t privy to. 

Normally you would have been thrilled to no longer have that intense scrutiny on you but now all you could feel was wave after wave of emotion that was not your own. It was like something Sans did had unlocked a door that had been keeping back all these feelings and thoughts and they chose now to flow out in a rush. It was heavily reminiscent of what it felt like earlier when you felt that unleashed power. 

You were now VERY aware of every single monster in a pretty large radius around you. How could you not be?! The insight you normally only had into invisible, intangible beings was now being applied heavily to all the monsters around you. You could feel their hostility, their uncertainty, their fear. It was awful, you felt nearly sick to your stomach. How do you turn it off? Normally you just left the area when things like this happened but that didn’t seem to be an option at the moment. 

So focused on the turmoil and heaps of new emotional input, you didn’t notice Frisk and Sans’ concerned gazes until they were right in your face. The skeleton raised a hand to gently snap you out of your reverie but all you could think was that he was about to strike you. You yelped and cowered backwards, missing the worried expressions on both Frisk and Sans’ faces deepen. 

Suddenly, a new stream of emotion absolutely blasted through the cacophony you’d been experiencing. You could describe the feeling concisely in three words: annoyed, proud, and LOUD. A second skeleton appeared and shoved Sans to the side. He was impossibly tall, even compared to Sans’ impressive height that towered over your small frame. He had what appeared to be black armor with spiked pauldrons on his shoulders as well as a slightly worn but well-loved red scarf that billowed behind him like a cape. 

He bent completely in half at the waist to meet your gaze. “HUMAN!” Oh man. His voice was LOUD. You squeaked and huddled even further into yourself. At least while this one was around you could only focus on him and his emotions. It was sort of like drowning out the sound of your neighbors shitty, loud music by setting off your car alarm but you supposed you’d take what you could get. After all, even though this skeleton LOOKED very intimidating, you could feel next to no negative intent from him at the moment. At least none directed at you. His annoyance seemed to be focused on Sans, although his attention was firmly on you. 

“HUMAN, I APOLOGIZE FOR MY BROTHER’S ABHORRENT MANNERS; HE GIVES A BAD NAME TO ALL SKELETON KIND. THEREFORE, I MUST TAKE UP THE MANTLE OF BEFRIENDING YOU, AS TINY AND WEAK AS YOU APPEAR. THE KING INSISTS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY WILL BE INVALUABLE ALLIES IN MONSTERKIND’S REINTEGRATION TO SOCIETY.” Ears ringing, you slowly nod to acknowledge the overbearing and, did you mention, LOUD skeleton. “AHEM.” Did he actually just say ‘ahem’? “HUMAN, YOU HAVE THE FORTUNE OF SPEAKING WITH THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS, CO-CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD. THERE IS NO NEED FOR YOU TO INTRODUCE YOURSELF, I SPOKE TO YOUR HUMAN ‘BARB’ EARLIER AND SHE FILLED ME IN ON YOUR NAME AND OCCUPATION.” He continued to stare at you until you nodded your head again. 

“HUMAN! AS MY NORMAL MODES OF BONDING WITH NEW ALLIES ARE NOT CURRENTLY AVAILABLE TO ME, I WOULD PROPOSE THAT YOU TRAIN WITH CAPTAIN UNDYNE AND I. IT IS PAINFULLY APPARENT THAT YOU NEED SOME TOUGHENING UP, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE HELPING FRISK AND YOUR FAMILY AS ANOTHER AMBASSADOR.” Now THAT got your attention. 

“What do you mean...another ambassador?” Your voice was pathetically thin. Damn you needed a nap. And maybe a drink. 

“WHILE YOU WERE TAKING YOUR EXTENDED NAP- A VERY LAZY PRACTISE TO HAVE DURING THE DAY, I SHALL HAVE TO FIX THAT- YOUR FAMILY AND THE ROYAL FAMILY AND GUARD DISCUSSED STRATEGIES FOR SUCCESSFULLY INTEGRATING MONSTERS BACK INTO HUMAN SOCIETY. IT IS OBVIOUSLY A HUGE UNDERTAKING BUT NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY STOP THE SHEER POWER AND INTELLECT OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS, NYEHEHEH!”


	4. Along For the Ride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's been a bit since I've updated this story! I had a huge problem with writer's block and started another fic to get me out of it (if you like creepy, stalky HT!Sans, give it a look). ANYWAY! I know this chapter is short but I'm gonna try to start updating this regularly again once I finish up with my other fic, so this is kinda just to tide everybody over. Thanks for sticking with me!!

Somehow, while you were out, your family had set up their streaming channel to give the monsters a chance to introduce themselves to society on their own terms. They figured if their loyal fanbase was aware of the monsters’ existence, then the government would be unable to do anything...unsavory to them without the public having a fit. In the meantime, you, Jess, and Kimmie were sent on fetch quests to retrieve as much camping gear as you could possibly shove into the mystery machine as well as your shitty little camry and Jess’ convertible. You got tents (the canvas kind, much more useful in the long run), camping stoves, firewood, chairs, bedrolls, and scrap wood plus some building supplies to put together makeshift tables and other furniture you might need. 

Despite the back-and-forth trips and non-stop shopping being exhausting, you were ecstatic to be able to get away from the mountain. Feeling all those intense emotions was really doing a number on you mentally. You were having a much tougher time adjusting than everybody else it seemed. 

While your sisters and mothers have already seamlessly accepted the monsters into their lives, you still find yourself struggling. You can’t help it though! Nearly every single monster constantly exudes an aura of danger signals. It’s reminiscent of a dog with pinned ears and exposed teeth: you know it means back off, or you’re gonna get bit. 

There’s the spider lady, Muffet, who DEFINITELY seems like she wants to eat you, and not in the sexy way. Alphys has strong mad scientist vibes. You have a feeling you’d be open on an operating table if she had her way. Undyne usually looks like she’s moments away from skewering the next person who complains about the camp conditions and Papyrus usually is no better. The average monster mostly just feels overtly hostile, giving off signals that they’d better be left alone if you want to keep all your limbs. For somebody like you, who can now apparently sense these things clearly, it’s entirely exhausting to be around all this negative energy. 

The only monsters you can stand to be around for any length of time are few and far between. Grillby mostly just seems interested in money so for him, any person is a potential customer, not an enemy. So basically as long as he’s not pissed off for whatever reason, he’s okay to be around. Sans is absolutely dangerous, you can tell. He’s probably the most powerful you’ve felt out of all the monsters but his exaggeratedly lazy demeanor and behavior make him an okay person to hang around. Usually. As long as he’s not in a pissy mood. As it turns out, Grillby and Sans’ pissy moods seem to always be opposite from each other. When one is in a good mood, the other always seems ready to bite off heads and break legs. You have an unbearably strong inkling that their moods may be related. 

Toriel and Asgore are mostly calm and collected, as long as they’re not angry. You’ve been noticing a trend with monsters and bad moods resulting in violence. Luckily there have been no fatal injuries yet. It seems monsters are used to beating the tar out of each other as a main form of communication. You once saw Asgore bodily throw a hulking wolf monster across a sixty foot clearing. Apparently he’d complained to his monarch about lack of progress one too many times. At another point you saw Toriel nearly eviscerate a Madjick for daring to insinuate that Frisk would be an incompetent ambassador. Now if Frisk is anywhere near either of them, they’re practically gigantic fluffy goat puppies. Speaking of puppies, most of the dog squad is also tolerable company: as long as you get a pet in before they decide to take a chomp out of you. Once you’ve got a hand in their fur and start petting, they immediately chill out. 

Only one monster feels safe to be around 24/7, so you end up chilling with them most of the time. That monster is a rather morose ghost named Napstablook. Instead of participating in scuffles and snarling confrontations like most of their monster brethren, they seem mostly interested in moping and listening to shitty chiptune remixes. They also have the bonus that their slightly down nature seems to douse the hostile emotions of other monsters around them, giving you a much-needed reprieve. You’ve become quick friends, bonding over your mutual social incompetence. It also doesn’t help that you find them endlessly adorable. Of all the beings you’d develop a crush on, you never in a million years thought it would be a ghost. Such is your life, you suppose. 

You and Blooky were hanging out in one of the canvas tents that had been set up, discussing the pros and cons of moving from 8-bit video game soundtracks to more modern, fully orchestrated games. You really had to see about getting some games to play out here or something. At least Alphys (Dr. Alphys, Royal Scientist! She insisted) had managed to connect the monster equivalent of internet to the human internet, allowing for monsters and humans to interact online. Of course that was both a good thing and a bad thing. At least they couldn’t get into physical fights on message boards. 

You got more and more distracted from Blooky’s point about nostalgia and traditionalism as feelings of ire grew closer and closer. By now you recognised the beginnings of a fight. As predicted, the sound of Grillby’s crackling, smoothe voice could be heard just on the other side of the canvas wall. Shortly thereafter it was joined by Sans’ dark rumble. You couldn’t help rolling your eyes. They were fighting again. Blooky seemed to have noticed your distracted state and turned to listen to what was going on. In his usual morose tones, he explained, “Those two have been dating for nearly three years now and they’ve never once stopped arguing. It’s obnoxious.” Much to your horror, he stuck his incorporeal body through the side of the tent to tell them to go away. You buried your face in your hands, hoping this wouldn’t turn from a verbal fight into a brawl. 

“What the fuck did you jus’ fuckin’ say about me you shitty little ghost?!” Oh shit. That was Sans. He sounded pissed. 

Trying to prevent this from escalating, you did your best to motion for Blooky to come back inside and leave them alone. By the time you caught his attention and he’d returned to being on one side of the canvas, Sans had already stormed around to the front flap of the tent and stood menacingly in the opening. As soon as the little lights in his eye sockets landed on you he rolled them and scoffed. “Listen here you poor excuse for an ectoplasmic cumrag, you and your human can just stay right the fuck out of my business.” Over Sans’ shoulder, you could see Grillby waiting, arms crossed and a supremely unimpressed look on his face...aimed at the skeleton. At least he wasn’t mad at you. If Blooky wasn’t near you to dampen things, the hostility coming off of Sans and his boyfriend would probably be roasting you alive. 

A rather loud and crackling throat clearing stopped the skeleton in the middle of his tirade. Aaand a fiery hand had grabbed him by the arm and was marching him away. You and Blooky shared deadpan looks, before you found yourself laughing at the absurdity of the situation. Blooky watched you impassively for a few seconds before suggesting: “Hey. Wanna lay on the ground and feel like garbage?” You heartily agreed to participate in this wonderful activity. Anything to avoid responsibilities (that you never agreed to in the first place!). 

________________________

_From the notes of Doctor Alphys, Royal Scientist:_

_Day 1 On the Surface_

_As predicted, the sheer DETERMINATION in Frisk’s soul was the catalyst for breaking the barrier. I know something else happened in between the time Frisk spared King Asgore and the barrier breaking, but they refuse to answer my questions. I tried to continue interrogating them, but Sans, that annoying little ingrate, warned me off bothering them about the subject any further. It is obvious both of them are hiding something from me, and I intend to uncover it. I have an educated guess that it has something to do with the former prince/flower/experiment. I will have to be careful about doing more digging. I really do not want nosy skeletons breathing down my neck.  
~  
Something that is rather surprising is the fact that there were humans just outside the barrier when it shattered. They were astonishingly accepting of our existence. We had been led to believe that humans would have a difficult time acknowledging their lack of awareness of monsters living right under their feet. These humans do not seem to have that problem. After a bit of prodding, one of the humans revealed that they were actually up on the mountain searching for the barrier. It should be impossible for mundane humans to sense its existence… I will have to question the unconscious human once they awake. It seems they collapsed when the barrier shattered. Perhaps it is connected.   
~  
Much to my continued annoyance, the human has returned to unconsciousness. I have had plenty of time to question the other four humans but I have yielded nothing interesting so far beyond hints that it is the fifth human I should be speaking with. I suppose I will have to have some patience.   
~  
I have a suspicion that the fifth human is like Frisk, namely, they are a Mage, or at the very least have the capacity to become a Mage. I will seek approval from his Majesty to research this further.   
~  
Asgore has given me the go-ahead. He says he does not want to repeat the mistakes he made so many years ago: he had refused the aid of human Mages during the Human-Monster War. He says our best safeguard in this new, unfamiliar world dominated by humans is to get powerful Mages as allies. My newest assignment is to identify, study, and befriend any human who has the capacity to be a Mage. I will start with the fifth human. Sans’ soul sight would be invaluable at this point, but stars know he would not be caught dead helping me. Perhaps I can convince Frisk to persuade him. I do not know when it happened, as I watched the vast majority of Frisk’s journey through the Underground from my Lab, but it seems they and Sans have become rather close. It is very annoying. _

_Day 2_

_It seems asking for Frisk’s assistance was the right move. Sans did indeed give the fifth human’s soul a quick check. He noted unusually high levels of PATIENCE for an adult human’s soul, indicating the possibility of a Mage. The lack of other primary characteristics is usually indicative of an affinity for one type of magic. For example, Frisk’s soul is entirely made of DETERMINATION. I do not know what the percentages are for the fifth human, mostly because Sans is abhorrent at taking serious notes and remembering details, but at least I have a start. I do not miss working with him. Undyne mentioned Captain Papyrus was planning to train the human. Perhaps he will also be able to awaken their magic potential. Only time will tell._


	5. A/N: Interest Check

Hey so I'm sorry I practically abandoned this fic for my HT one but honestly I was only trying to get over my writer's block... instead I got sucked into a new story. Oops. Anyway, I wanted to check in (idk if anybody even keeps an eye out for this in the first place??). 

I've got a couple options in mind: 

1\. Right away I can post what I already have written. It's all just bits and pieces that happen in the future of the story but nothing cohesive and leave it.

 

2\. I can give up on the long- form version of the story and just skip to the main plot points and juicy bits (so it'd be more like a collection of connected one-shots)

 

3\. I can wait until I finish up my other story, which will probably take quite a while, and continue to do the long version

 

Currently I'm leaning towards option one but if even one person is interested I'd be more than happy to have some input.


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